[Faith’s] nature lies in the fact that it is not the thinking out of something that can be thought out and that at the end of the process is then at my disposal as the result of my thought. On the contrary, it is characteristic of faith that it comes from hearing, that it is the reception of something that I have not thought out, so that in the last analysis thinking in the context of faith is always a thinking over of something previously heard and received.In other words, in faith the word takes precedence over the thought . . . . it is something said to me, which hits me as something that has not been thought out and could not be thought out and lays an obligation on me.
Like I said before, the language of the book makes for hard reading. Maybe it’s the translation. In any case, gems like I’ve posted jump off the page at me, forcing me to think deeply about what is being said.
I’ve spent so much time trying to make my faith ‘reasonable’. Turning, refining, tearing down again only to build it back. Yet when I think back to that time I ‘first believed’. To the joy that accompanied the believing. To the challenge I felt in knowing that this, my faith, was real. Real in a way that escaped my ability to explain. Perhaps it has been this – the pursuit of an explanation that has consumed me for so long, rather than faith itself. It, in essence, never left. I never forgot what I believed. I was simply struggling to understand why. And in coming to realize that the why isn’t meant for me to know, perhaps I’ll come to some sort of truce with my faith.